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Attachment Styles Play a Role in Connecting With Others


How would you describe your relationships? Stable, Distant, or turbulence? Simply define attachment as to how you relate to others. Your attachment style provides insight into how you conduct and respond within relationships. The 4 major attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.


Secure attachment indicates the person trusted their parents/caregivers during infancy. The message communicated is “I can trust that my needs will be met consistently.” Secure adults usually have a positive self-view and positive view of others. People who fall into this category are more likely to connect well and securely in relationships. These individuals can trust and believe they are worthy of love.


Usually, anxious attachment or ambivalent individuals are viewed as needy or clingy. People with this attachment style are concerned others will not reciprocate their desire for intimacy. Usually, parents were inconsistent when providing for their child’s needs. Additional signs of this attachment style include low self-esteem and fear of rejection. In addition, anxiously attached individuals hold a negative view of themselves and a positive image of others. Thus, they have a sense of unworthiness but see others positively. They also tend to aim for self-acceptance by attempting to gain approval and validation from their relationships with significant others.

Whereas avoidant attachment styles usually avoid interactions with the caregiver and show no distress during separation. Adults who have this attachment style have a positive self-image and a negative image of others. They avoid close relationships and intimacy with others to help them maintain a sense of independence and invulnerability.


With an ambivalent attachment style, individuals are very concerned with the uncertainty of the relationship. These individuals tend to have a negative self-image and a positive image of others. They also strive for self-acceptance by trying to gain approval and validation from their relationships with others. They also need higher levels of contact and intimacy in relationships with others.


Where do you see yourself when it comes to attachment?

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